Total Wipe Out? Total Wimp Out I’m afraid. Massive fail. Sorry, Milo.
Milo is my nephew and suggested this task for me. I’d never heard of Total Wipeout but responded enthusiastically anyway. ‘Ooh sounds brilliant – what is it?’ I chirruped. ‘Look on YouTube’ he replied, clearly disappointed in my ignorance. He added, ‘You get £10,000 if you win’.
So Total Wipe Out: it’s all about super-fit men and women, dressed in skin-tight lycra, boxing-style head-gear, knee-padded and protected up to and including their eyeballs. They take on bonkers tasks, like trying to knock each other off enormous beach balls using giant cotton buds. There is just no way. Not least because the land of all-in-one-lycra is one for which I no longer have a visa.