Recently I drove my friend Simon to a party in Dorset. When he hopped into the confined space of my car, he brought with him a foul combination of Ginsters and Jazz. Improv Jazz. He calmly unwrapped the Ginsters pie which was hot, messy and odorous and then removed my (probably Greatest Hits) CD from the player and inserted improv Jazz. I loathe Jaaaaazz.
Between mouthfuls of pie, he told me off for driving too fast (under 50mph). I slowed to an acceptable speed for him, and pretty soon we were on a deserted highway as mopeds, cyclists, joggers and brisk walkers powered past us.
Simon had one task, which was to read the simple directions that the hosts had given us, when we neared their tiny village. He totally failed to do this, taking us 50 miles out of our way.
I just couldn’t take any more and shouted ‘You don’t passenge well’. He was astonished.
So that’s my new word; a verb, to passenge. From the noun, passenger. You can use this method for a range of other words. You have an issue? You are issued. You want the remote control? Ask to be remoted.
It makes talking much more fun.